Letter Punster Pillows

'My teacher is a man of letters...except A and B.'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Intelligent people laugh too!

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

'It's the report from the consultant. He says we should turn over the turnovers to improve turnover.'

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

Sweep the board.

'Did you watch the horror movie?'

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Dogs life

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

K9 Literati

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

'Out, damned Spot.'

Tequila Mockingbird

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

"So is this war movie rated R, rated PG, or rated RPG?"

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Dog Walker

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."