Enthusiastic Driver Gifts

'Retirement community or bust' old lady in car with cat

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Man helping a mini learner driver

Say speed

I love my motor.

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

Baby on Board, Mother on Edge.

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

"Thank goodness for rear-engine cars!"

"You can turn your blinker off now, Senator."

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

'No, you don't get extra credit for a creative parking technique!'

Construction zone ends. Please resume following your bliss.

'I thought you said the kids were in the back.'

"Today we welcome a new VP of Irrational Exuberance."

"Isn't 85 the new 55?"

Stone Age Driving Test

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

Ducks crossing.

Karate School.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

Driving home for Christmas.

Student tower pulling along a student driver.

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

"You're very courteous for a hog"

I don't brake for tail gators.

"Aside from the foot, do you think my parking's getting better?"

'I had to go that fast in order to keep that nut from passing me!'

"And now I'd like you to eat a chicken and mayonnaise sandwich shile answering your mobile."

'How was my emergency stop?'

'It's green, you color-blind, flea-bitten bonehead! Where'd you learn to drive?'

For Those Who Don't Feel That Driving School Is Quite Enough, There's...Driver's University

"Today we're learning how to simultaneously drive and talk on the cell phone!"