Entertaining Guru Gifts

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Showbiz Awards

'How fast can you hype?'

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

"He's gonna be in and out for a while, so we should write something funny on his forehead."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

Kirsten Johnson

Succession 2

After I crossed the road, I began to ask myself why I did anything.

'Hendrikson is playing his practical joke again!'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

Come dine with me!

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

'Darling, wake up, I've just realised ... we're not HD ready.'

Third eye

"Well, for starters, you’re holding the shovel all wrong."

Hamlet's Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson Contemplates Show Business.

'It's just that simple. So act now and start barking up the 'right' tree.'

Everybody is having a great time! I'm more than just the party host --- I'm the master of my fete!

"I was solving those same problems when I was your age."

'That's the best advice you got? There's no business like show business?'

"For the next Christmas party pot luck, let's skip the finger foods."

Fish building a bomb to save themselves.

'Last arrests at the bar please...!'

Hoping to appear 'hipper,' many candidates are sporting Justin Bieber haircuts.'

I've seen an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes. What on earth are you talking about, little buddy? I watched more than 80 movies last night on Hulu, for free. Are you talking about trailers? When it shows the beginning, middle and end, it's a movie.

'Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!'

"Let me through, I've seen every episode of casualty."

Fishes

"We've been here forty years - When do we get our golden parachutes?"

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

"I charge according to the size of the target."

"Maybe when they're a little older, my son can help yours with his homework."