Television Guru Gifts

"I'm worried about your father. He's staring into the abyss."

"Let me tell you something I learned from life as I've experienced it through the media."

'I thinkn a 'V-chip' in TV sets for violence is fine but what I'd really like to see is an 'I' chip for inane programming.'

'It's just that simple. So act now and start barking up the 'right' tree.'

Showbiz Awards

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Robots In The Boardroom

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

Early Colour TV

The Modern Novel.

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"If you're trying to find yourself, Mr. Ludlow, just ping your phone."

Succession 2

"It's a self-driving skateboard."

Crocodile Selfie

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

Windows or Mac?

"What? More deliveries? Man, I never should have leased out my cloud for data storage."

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

"Ooops...wrong doctor !"

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

"Yes, binary is really kicking in."

Of course we're faster and more powerful now. I just think we commanded more respect when we filled an entire room.

'Console 3GMEGA3D plus 3K+SUPERAUDIO USB 35,000.000 MGB...'

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

Old MacDonald had a data farm. AI AI O.

'From here I can monitor world stocks, or attend overseas teleconferences, unfortunately I can't get out though because the door's stuck.'

"The results of your last project are back and it appears the app you created makes you obsolete."

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

A Meeting of Computer Buffs.

"I haven't seen you up here before. When were you uploaded?"