Entering Dating Pool Pillows

"I'm recently separated from my significant other half."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

'It's hard finding a caring,sensitive and good looking man. Most of them already have boyfriends.'

"I don't remember him or the meal or what movie we saw. All I remember is I wore the right jeans."

Tasty.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'Complements of the big smelly gentleman.'

Cards Blind Dating Game

"There's something different about you."

"I fancy tall men."

'Were you playing footsie with me?'

Speed Dating

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'Yes, this is my first time at speed dating. Is it that obvious?'

'Nah! He's not my type.'

"My mates at the showroom said that I should start dating again."

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

Dorothy and the singles bar

"First date. You'd think she would have done something about her eraser."

'Get lost. Can't you see I'm with someone?'

'My perfume? Actually, it's called 'insect repellent' but at the moment it doesn't seem to be working.'

"Not on a first date! That's fine by me, I've been on lots of dates."

What star sign are you, let me guess...libra?

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"So we're cool? We can go on a date?"

"Why is it sooo difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking. . . ?"

Tom Prepares for his Hot Date.

"Dude...Smiley wants to meet me for a burger...maybe it means she's hungry."

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

Computer dating.

'I'm sorry, sir, but affirmative action guidelines require that your first date be a Nepalese pastry cook.'