English Studies Gifts

"Adverbs, adjectives, conjunctions, clauses...I'll never learn to speak English!"

'I know one thing about parts of speech. Billy and student aren't synonyms.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Schengen

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Punctuation Police

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Shakespeare was bisexual

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

Loan Alley

"Oh, this old thing?"

Dating an English Major

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Thomas Hardy

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

'Yes, grammar rules do evolve over time, but making up your own to 'stay ahead of the curve' won't work in this English class!'

Harv's general clumsiness with prepositions comes back to haunt him.

Sometimes Y Turn

Ironing Punctuation

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

Lord Byron

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

Staff Yearbook

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

Present Tense/Present Simple/Present Progressive/Present Perfect/Present Past.

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Euro crisis: The euro walking over a cliff

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

"After reviewing your resume, I don't think you should be teaching English - I think you should be study English."