English Professor Gifts

'I'd like to change my major from electrical engineering to English or something.'

"I wandered lonely as a...lonely as a...lonely as a what?"

'Nevermore.' (quote the raven, feeding pigeons)

"Oh, this old thing?"

Robert Frost Today

More Animal Grammar. Blackbird. Bluebird. Black and blue bird.

Men, there is no I in team! Seriously. I just got a text from your English professor, so go ahead and fix that in the playbook I handed out. (Pulished originally on March 6, 2010.)

"Baldo, what are the parts of speech?"

Oscar Wilde

Henry James

Palindrome school.

Meanwhile, Back in a Parellel Universe. . .

"Well of course it's unintelligible. I'm an English professor!"

James Joyce

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Welcome to the future"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Ethics exam cheater.

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"