English Language Teacher Gifts

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A Puppet Named Juan

Campaign for Plain English

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Punctuation Police

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Shakespeare was bisexual

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

The Witches Discover The Wok

"It's a play on words."

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

"Oh, this old thing?"

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Extreme Sisyphus

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

Thomas Hardy

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

After the Sentence

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

Lend me your ears