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A Puppet Named Juan

Campaign for Plain English

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Punctuation Police

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Shakespeare was bisexual

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"It's a play on words."

"Oh, this old thing?"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

The Witches Discover The Wok

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

Extreme Sisyphus

Thomas Hardy

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

Alice in Wonderland-Hare and Hatter putting Dormouse in Teapot

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

After the Sentence

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

Lend me your ears