English Literature Teacher Gifts

How a poet works

"With their short attention spans, we've gone from epic poetry to limericks."

Geoffrey Chaucer

A Puppet Named Juan

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"You're going to hate yourself."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Victor Hugo

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Punctuation Police

'Hamlet'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Shakespeare was bisexual

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

The Demise of Tinkerbell

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."