English Professors Gifts

'Well, you know what they say...give a million monkees a million cell phones and they'll eventually text the entire works of Shakespeare.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Welcome to the future"

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Ethics exam cheater.

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Big Bang Theory.

Fear/Knowledge

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

'Hmph. College kids.'

Albert Einstein

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'But I digress...'

Eternal Student.

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.