Literary Professors Gifts

'Well, you know what they say...give a million monkees a million cell phones and they'll eventually text the entire works of Shakespeare.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Hmph. College kids.'

Thinking Gears

"You're going to hate yourself."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

'Hamlet'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Shakespeare was bisexual

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

The Demise of Tinkerbell

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."