Literary Professor Gifts

"I've been invited to address a conference of professors of twentieth-century American literature who are sleeping with their students."

"Shakespeare got it wrong. . . to sea or not to sea, that is the question!"

Alexander Pope.

"With their short attention spans, we've gone from epic poetry to limericks."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Hmph. College kids.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

"You're going to hate yourself."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Victor Hugo

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'Hamlet'

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

The Demise of Tinkerbell

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Shakespeare was bisexual

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."