English Football Gifts

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Liverpool and Tottenham will star in the first English final

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Church for sports worshipers.

Bowled over again!

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

The Brothers Grime

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'