English Football Pillows

Liverpool and Tottenham will star in the first English final

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Church for sports worshipers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

The trauma of losing.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Punt Cake

'Another football scholarship offer?'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

The Brothers Grime

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!