British Football Gifts

Liverpool and Tottenham will star in the first English final

European Super League Matches

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Church for sports worshipers.

Bowled over again!

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Punt Cake

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

The Brothers Grime

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.