Uk Football Fan Gifts

'I thought the government had abolished blood sports.'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Bears

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"Uptight End"

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Egyptian Football

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

Cristiano Ronaldo

Archaeologists discover a football

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

Spot the fur ball.

"With one wrong turn, Sparky's big adventure became a nightmare."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Hands in same position from birth to death.

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'

Red Card - Gold Card.