English Class Aficionados Gifts

'A student stapled a twenty to her term paper...it was more persuasive than her writing.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

"Okay, okay. 'Canine.' That's 'K-N-i-N-E.' Oh rats!"

Spell Cheque

Edward Elgar.

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

"Spelling and punctuation is not a fad."

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

'Now that we've learned to talk, we can have FOCUS GROUPS!'

"Well that answers that question!"

Global Education

'I'm a gnu, but I think the 'N' is silent.'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'Today in school, we learned how to count to one.'

Title Page for 'Mrs Grundy'

'What I don't understand, is how a guy named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stayed out of fights long enough to compose any music.'

Phonetic Man

"Would you care to step out of the shop and see how it looks in the fog, Mr. Holmes?"

Brothers Grimm

Beginning of the school year

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

Ms. Bronte has a bad Eyre day.

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

'What I called creative recycling the school called plagiarism.'

'I'm getting a little concerned about Timmy. He hasn't wormed his way out of anything all semester.'

'Why did Oliver Twist?'

School boy

"Good ephening."

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."