English Lesson Fan Gifts

'I'm a gnu, but I think the 'N' is silent.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

"Okay, okay. 'Canine.' That's 'K-N-i-N-E.' Oh rats!"

Danth battle?

"You'd be angry, too, if your alter ego was a successful physician."

"Bet she says 'moo' before she says 'oink'."

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

Punctuation Karaoke Night

"That's not what I meant by changing gear, Mrs.Robinson!"

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I'm the guy who invented CliffsNotes."

"Spelling and punctuation is not a fad."

'It's one of those trendy 'warm salads,' with sausage, fried eggs, bacon and black pudding.'

'Yes, I speak perfect English, I have to 'cause you English are too bloody lazy to learn French!'

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

". . . and I wish he's shut up for a few minutes!"

Transylvania Lecture Hall. Tonight Count Dracula will speak about lessons he learned looking back over a long life. I thought vampires didn't reflect.

'When did 'At Ease' become 'Chill'?'

"All those in favor of saying 'It's a wrap' instead of 'Meeting adjourned' say 'Aye.' "

'Sorry I'm late, miss. My alarm clock overslept.'

'Why did Oliver Twist?'

"Can you recommend a good exercise program?"

Graduation at the executioner's school

"I don't have any yet. We just opened."

"Good ephening."

'You tell me that I should forget the past and go on with my life But doctor, I am the history teacher'

'Don't trust people Billy, they'll only hurt you.'

Back down.