Engagement Guru Gifts

'It's not the age difference, Larry - it's the wage difference.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Businesswoman Empowerment

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Sir Winston Churchill

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Relationship Warning Lights

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

The Dubloon Stops Here

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'You know too much!'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.