Engagement Guru T-Shirts

'It's not the age difference, Larry - it's the wage difference.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

Sir Winston Churchill

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'You know too much!'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

The Dubloon Stops Here

Frank was certain his Bird of Paradise mating dance would press all the right buttons with Margaret.

Relationship Warning Lights

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'