Endorsement Chaser Gifts

"There's more to sports than winning. There's also getting payments from sneaker companies to sign at colleges they sponsor."

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

All-Candy Seder.

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

Letter writing lady.

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

Riding the Rollercoaster.

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'You seem qualified. What concerns me is the car you're driving. It's not sending out the right message.'

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

Tango

'Toys?! Good heavens, no! I made my fortune through commercial endorsements.'

Corporate Success

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

Potter is going to go far, unless I manage to stop him.

'Brilliant job, Rafferty. Advance two cubicles!'

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

"Contested elections are ALWAYS problematic...but I'd like reassure you that even though the partners chose me on this occasion."

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

"WHEEEE!"

Elf of the Month

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

' I'm sick of having to use this pigsty!..What does a guy have to do,to gain access to the executive wash-room in this company?! '

Marvin P. Tisdale is plucked from obscurity and returned there in record time.

'It's quite an inspiring story. He started out in the mailroom and within two years had clawed his way to the very top!'

'I just want to warn you if you buy this, you may never again know if people like you for you or your corvette.'

"It's not the fast track I had in mind."