Ceremony Chaser Gifts

"I've got to admit it's an impressive helmet, but how do you know it's genuine bear skin?"

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

Southwark Fair.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

All-Candy Seder.

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Get me public relations!'

Riding the Rollercoaster.

The Notre Dame Five Year Restoration Plan Swing Into Action.

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

"I got a job!"

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

'I'm stepping down. Who wants to become boss?'

Double Wedding

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

'No bonus this year, Felton, but I've nominated you for a Grammy.'

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

"Joel Daniels: Live from behind the CVS"

"Fortunately, Mr. O'Brien, a sucker's attorney is born every half a minute."

'When I reach the top, Henderson, I won't forget all the little people I climbed over to get there.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"Five minutes, General."