Ceremony Chaser Gifts

"I've got to admit it's an impressive helmet, but how do you know it's genuine bear skin?"

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

Southwark Fair.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

All-Candy Seder.

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'Get me public relations!'

Riding the Rollercoaster.

The Acme Agency: "Dedicated to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Media Exposure."

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

'We're too late for the Xmas Eve shindig but if you hurry we can just about make the New Year Eve one!'

"I got a job!"

Double Wedding

'Charles Frederick and Camilla Gladys!'

'Actually,no. It isn't okay to have a little chat and sign a few autographs!'

'An internship is pretty much the only way to get your foot in the door these days...'

'I'm stepping down. Who wants to become boss?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"Fortunately, Mr. O'Brien, a sucker's attorney is born every half a minute."

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

"Five minutes, General."

"Joel Daniels: Live from behind the CVS"

'No bonus this year, Felton, but I've nominated you for a Grammy.'

'I didn't even know the carnival was in town!'

'When I reach the top, Henderson, I won't forget all the little people I climbed over to get there.'

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.