Ceremony Cherisher Gifts

Wedding photo with a dog on the grooms side

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

Comedy Ballet of Marionettes I (Oil Version in Tate Known as 'A Caprice'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

A salute of scouts

'You should have seen the one that got away!'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

Folk Wedding

The Not So Wild West

'They call it the people dance.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'Does my head look big in this?'

'Sorry, I always cry at weddings...'

"It's OK vicar, Nigel's just having one of his panic attacks."

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"Did you have to go on about his being 'officially unavailable' and 'defying the nature of his masculinity?"

GLAD-YOU-ATION

A baby being christened in a scuba mask.

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

'Will you hold it down? This is IMPORTANT!'

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'He'll be really p****d if he doesn't get nominated for an award this year.'

Tribal masks.

'The speaker for tonight's ceremony will be our valedictorian. Speak, boy, speak.'

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.