Emergency Miscommunicator Gifts

"I said fire not shoot."

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Communication Breakdowns

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No...I said aperitif!!"

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Shoot...not literally, of course.

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'I did not call you a 'bar fly'! I said; 'I'll be back, briefly'.'

"Size 16? Sorry, I thought you said 61."

"My mistake Guvnor - I thought you said CRAP circles!"

'Strip DOWN to your waist, Mr Yomp, not UP!'

"You said you wanted an Easter-related present."

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

"Honey, I got a brand-new bow for our car!"