Emergency Miscommunicator Gifts

"I said fire not shoot."

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Communication Breakdowns

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'You know that's not what I meant when I asked you to take the dog out!'

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

"No...I said aperitif!!"

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

Sea kelp? I said "seek help"!

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

"...But I don't want to get in the back Norma, I want to stay in the front with you"

The Embarrassment of Van Gogh

"My mistake Guvnor - I thought you said CRAP circles!"

'I did not call you a 'bar fly'! I said; 'I'll be back, briefly'.'

You were right -- She's not trying to high-five us!

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

Come back, sir! "Leave room for cream" was a question, not directions.

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

"Perhaps I should clarify. When I said to drink plenty of fluids ..."

"Size 16? Sorry, I thought you said 61."

"You said you wanted an Easter-related present."

"Not bad, but I said, 'Stay'."

"Honey, I got a brand-new bow for our car!"