Miscommunication Memeer Gifts

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"No, a dressing down day isn't an opportunity to bollock the staff."

"I meant the dog!"

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

Communication Breakdowns

"Ding dong means the witch is dead. Ding ding means dinner is ready."

Unknown historical typos: Isaac Newton presser, 1687

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Elective surgery? But I'm not even registered to vote!"

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

"For the last time, 'port' is left, 'starboard' is right!"

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"No, I did NOT get the memo about "Casual Fridays." Had I known I would have worn flats."

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

'She's throwing a dinner party - Just for me...'

"This is not what I meant when I said 'let's chill'."

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

"OK, you're right. It does say take 2 tablets by mouth."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

'I could have sworn you asked if I wanted to go to the saloon.'

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No, what I said was we need more stakeholders."

"No...I said aperitif!!"

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'Sir, I'm an estate agent. Not a showbiz agent.'

"There's a man at the door with a wooden leg."