Embarrassment Collector Pillows

"Don't panic Maud - I've made the vicar a cup of tea."

"I've done this procedure so often I could do it in my sleep. But that's only happened twice – that I'll admit to."

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

The awkwardness of one's first officeplace fist-bump.

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

Slave Drivers.

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"Baldo, we need to talk."

My boss is a real turd.

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"Not wearing deodorant is not what I meant by 'respect the local customs'"

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

Aggression Therapy Seminar

"See that guy over there? Used to be a real headliner."

"‘How is everything?’ Well, I don’t think everything is going very well … but my pasta is excellent, thank you."

"You told me to mingle, so I have been mingling."

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

"No, I'm scarier."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

"Are you regular?" "Every morning at 6AM." "That's good." "But I don't wake up until 7."