Awkwardness Collectors Pillows

"You should have told me you needed advice."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

The awkwardness of one's first officeplace fist-bump.

"God help us, it's that guy."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"How embarrassing, I'm literally glued to the television."

"Simple tasks were a challenge for Chad. Awww, geez. Another upside down spoon."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"Not wearing deodorant is not what I meant by 'respect the local customs'"

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

"No, I'm scarier."

"You told me to mingle, so I have been mingling."

A cat and a dog are embarrassed to find themselves on an elevator together.

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

"‘How is everything?’ Well, I don’t think everything is going very well … but my pasta is excellent, thank you."

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

"Are you regular?" "Every morning at 6AM." "That's good." "But I don't wake up until 7."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

'You're listening to no repeat radio where we never play the same song twice! Yeah! No repeat radio! Where you'll never hear the same song twice! Only on no repeat radio!'

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

'When I said you could pick me up at 8, I assumed you owned a car.'

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

Recession the plus side: embarrassing 'water cooler moments' less frequent.

'I don't care how educationally beneficial you guys may thing it is, I am not showing you the girl's video. That's what google's for.'