Embarrassment Aficionado Pillows

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

"Baldo, we need to talk."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

"A pox on your house red."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

Suffering from awkward bastard syndrome...please help.

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

Group therapy for the socially retarded.

'Have a nice day! See you later!'

"You were a schlub in all of your previous lives, too."

'Tim, honey, I don't know how to say this...But...It's...It's your breath...It reeks of mint.'

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

'Quit referring to me as a Low Rider.'

"Public display of rejection"

"Don't ask your parents about the birds and bees."