Embarrassment Connoisseur Pillows

"Public display of rejection"

"I wouldn't say you embarrassed yourself. It was more like social self-immolation."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

Totalitarian Humour

Crazy old clown cat lady.

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

Clown's In and Out Trays.

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"The show's a big hit, but a little too risque. It's not worth the aggravation we're getting from the watchdog groups."

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

"Baldo, we need to talk."

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

Clown Watercooler

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

"Keep back... I'm going to try reviving him with my hand buzzer!"

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

"True, it's an authorized biography, but we'd do better by marketing it as unauthorized."

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

clown trophies

"I'm not going into college today, I don't feel enough sense of outrage."

'How's my Mother? Not too good - You're sitting on her!'

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

'I'm told they even eat our arthritic knuckles.'

"If one of your ears were inside-out, would you want someone to tell you?"