Embarrassment Enthusiast Pillows

'Please excuse my mother, this is my first interview.'

"Baldo, we need to talk."

'Well, are you wearing clean underwear or not?'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

"We're baitfish - we'll always be endangered."

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

"What an awful morning. I left home without my phone."

The Awkwardly Informal Meet Up Group

I've got to run to my job interview! Do I have spinach between my teeth?

"Gee, I hate gatherings like these! I never know the right thing to say..."

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

'Your mother is not a good loser is she?'

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"I'm not going into college today, I don't feel enough sense of outrage."

"Damn it, when things were going well there was nothing but eye contact."

'Damned tourists.'

Suffering from awkward bastard syndrome...please help.

Group therapy for the socially retarded.

'Have a nice day! See you later!'

"You smell like wet cardboard."

"I'm just seeing if there's anything to be outraged at."

'You've got to wonder what goes on in their heads...'

"You were a schlub in all of your previous lives, too."

'Tim, honey, I don't know how to say this...But...It's...It's your breath...It reeks of mint.'