Elvis Gifts

'They say they are three kings.'

Seeing him an old movie does not count as an Elvis sighting.

The truth behind the recent Elvis supermarket sightings.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Playing Fetch.

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Police Feline Unit

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Pick me!"

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

A young Don King

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"Why do they do that?"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'