Elevator Phobic Gifts

"Just so you know, if this elevator breaks down, I have no problem cannibalizing your body for my survival."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Here we are."

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Thumbing a Lift.

Going Down?

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

Elevator charge $1.00.

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

The guy who got in on the ground floor

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

A Fork-lift.

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

'Going up?'

"This thing is so slow!"

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

'Yeh right! Always blame the dung beetle!' - An elevator mishap.

"Do we look like we're going up?"

'You can't use the elevator as guestroom!'

"What does it look like? I'm running a little late this morning."

Elevator. Up, down and dirty.

'Funny place to put an esculator.'

"It's vitally important to me that we beat the other elevator."