Elephant Appreciation Gifts

"Having massive tusks can be good and bad: good to attract ladies and deter challengers, but bad because it attracts poachers..."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

"Okay, you can keep 'em, but if they grow any bigger, they'll have to sleep in the kitchen."

Elephant ass selfie.

The circus diver.

'By Jove, we've finally found it! the fabled elephants' disco!'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Table Of The Elephants

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

'Peekaboo!'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

Ernie's spent his entire career studying one species. He says everything else is "irrelephant."

Zoo warden attempting to impress woman visitor

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

"You finished with your peanuts?"

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

Domestic event in the Zoological Gardens No. I. - The nose of the hippopotamus put out of joint by the young elephant

'I told you it would fit.'

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'My final offer.'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

Australian Mobile Bar