Elephant Appreciation T-Shirts

"Having massive tusks can be good and bad: good to attract ladies and deter challengers, but bad because it attracts poachers..."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'Of course you're out of gas. You forgot to fill up at the last stop...maybe this will teach you to stop daydreaming.'

Elephant ass selfie.

The circus diver.

'By Jove, we've finally found it! the fabled elephants' disco!'

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

'Peekaboo!'

"Man, these closed book exams suck! Who could possibly remember all this crap?"

Table Of The Elephants

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

Bob realised that he'd had his binoculars back to front.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Yes, the baby should arrive soon: Her nesting instinct is in overdrive!'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

Domestic event in the Zoological Gardens No. I. - The nose of the hippopotamus put out of joint by the young elephant

'Jumbo waits for the tusk fairy'

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Zoo warden attempting to impress woman visitor

"You finished with your peanuts?"

'You may have found more new customers than the other salesmen, but your profits are too small! Stop just pulling in peanuts, Barry!'

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

Australian Mobile Bar

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'My final offer.'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'