Elementary Humorist Gifts

It's a group of goldfish, so it might be an element-ary school!

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

Football Chameleon

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"The Eggsorcist"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

'Right, who threw that?' (giant pupil in class).

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"I lost my taste for his homework when it came burned on a CD."

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Math Teacher

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Monitor lizard becomes milk monitor.

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

'Ms. Blumter, please get me a copy of Educational Leadership for Dummies.'

"I DO have a note from my doctor...but nobody can read it!"

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.