Contemporary Humorist Gifts

No genetically modified candy used in this construction.

'Not a 'podcast' - just a cast.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Football Chameleon

"The Eggsorcist"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

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Peter

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

This man is an island.

Pop Top Ice FIshing

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

Magic Act

Time management office worker

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

Murphy bed...Murphy.

"Lemonade App: $1"

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

Sheepdog

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"