Contemporary Humorist Gifts

No genetically modified candy used in this construction.

'Not a 'podcast' - just a cast.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Football Chameleon

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

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Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

This man is an island.

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

Magic Act

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

Time management office worker

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

Murphy bed...Murphy.

"You're not just a number here. You're a number who hasn't been fired yet."

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"Lemonade App: $1"

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

Giraffe painter.