Elemental Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I collect molecules of hydrogen and oxygen. I keep them in this glass of water."

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'Elements' team

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

The Style of Elements

Use your imagination.

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Nihilistic customer service"

Business Sisyphus

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'This cd is Earth and Wind. There is no fire, yet.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

Man falls off perch

Energy trap.

"The STEM program has many advantages: you can invent stuff, you can use great equipment...but let's talk about the great cafeteria food."

Electrolyte Orchestra.

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"But if I say I'm in denial then, by definition, I'm not in denial."

'I've still got nothing. I'm going to call an electrician.'

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

"I take it this is a very special occasion."

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

'Truly,he's a great conductor.'

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

'See, I told you this electric fence would come in handy.'