Elemental Enthusiast Gifts

"I collect molecules of hydrogen and oxygen. I keep them in this glass of water."

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'Elements' team

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

The Style of Elements

Use your imagination.

Armstrong? Why did UPS just deliver a microscope, a robotic arm, a huge incubator, a nucleus extractor and a dozen lab rats? Well, it's certainly not so I can replace you with an army of clones programmed to work for free. Well

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"Nihilistic customer service"

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Business Sisyphus

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

'This cd is Earth and Wind. There is no fire, yet.'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"I've learned a lot in sixty-three years. But, unfortunately, almost all of it is about aluminum."

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

Man falls off perch

"The STEM program has many advantages: you can invent stuff, you can use great equipment...but let's talk about the great cafeteria food."

At the Periodic Picnic Table of the Elements

Energy trap.

Electrolyte Orchestra.

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

'I've still got nothing. I'm going to call an electrician.'

"But if I say I'm in denial then, by definition, I'm not in denial."

Wow! I've met some famous scientists up here! Yesterday I met Thomas Edison -- it was very illuminating! And today I met Professor Pavlov! You know who was, don't you? I'm not sure -- but the name sure rings a bell!

My husband is a world expert, but unfortunately it's only on maganese bronze.

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

"Sorry Mr. Gross, Mr. DeVries, but the firm has decided to go with the earthy, down-home fingerpicking of Ms. Aimee Parker-Grossman."

"I take it this is a very special occasion."

Ohm. He has a degree in electrical engineering!

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."