Elementary Enthusiast Gifts

"Papi, I'm writing my resume!"

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

I will study my speling words...

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

The Style of Elements

U of Debt

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

Use your imagination.

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

Lessons in Prehistory.

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Super Student

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Yummy Mummies

A Preschool of Fish

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."