Electronics Store Clerk Pillows

'Technophobes - I can spot 'em a mile away.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

and this little light starts blinking when your computer becomes obsolete

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

Men's Prayer Group.

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"What's wrong with you? This isn't what I want! Do you know what you're doing? Can you get me a smarter clerk?"