Electronics Store Clerk T-Shirts

'Technophobes - I can spot 'em a mile away.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Sale! Weed Whackers

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

"Where can I find the lefts?"

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'No, I'm afraid we don't have calendars in dog-years.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'This snuff video you sold me just shows people taking snuff.'

"Your receipt is also available in a choice of colors."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

Science Books. Do you have any books about Lepidoptera? Yes, and would you like to join "The Book of the Moth Club"?

and this little light starts blinking when your computer becomes obsolete

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

'I want to return this wallet. I can't seem to keep any money in it.'

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"Because it's got a goddam crack in it, that's why."

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

Clown applying mustard to balloon hotdog.

Men's Prayer Group.

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

Widescreen TV.