Electoral Entertainer Gifts

Hello, this is Bernie Sanders. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. I know. That's why I'm calling you. I want to thank you for being such a big supporter, going to my rallies, donating all that money

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Zombie standup

Showbiz Awards

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Clown on bike.

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

The Rooster Comedian.

"Extreme miming"

"We're following Carrot Top."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Comedy Cafe

"That'll be five bucks."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Cow Show Tunes

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Bravo!"

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Clown God

Primitive magician

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'