Evening Entertainer Gifts

"Too late. I already put the TV to bed."

'I had a wonderful evening and I'm really sorry Ed's still looking for a parking spot.'

Warning Wisecracks or good-natured barbs alcohol maybe hazardous to your health,

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"Extreme miming"

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

Glyndebourne

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

'Don't you ever knock?'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

Roller Coasters

Pottery Slam

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

"Would you mind telling me why you keep hitting a scary-music sound bite every time you pick up your steak knife?"

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

Ventriloquist's Doll also has a Doll.

'What happened to the guy with the harmonica?'

Unemployed man given role as the 'gluten fairy'.

Pizza Throwing

"Don't worry. These rosés are still fresh."

Adult Magician

Bumper Puncture Repair Kit.

"At my birthday parties you call the shots, but out here you do as I say, soldier!"

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

Tom Waits.

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Do you know the Lincolnshire poacher?'

Jimi Hendrix Picks A Guitar

'You need to slow down - use more color.'

Monk Parrot.

'Honey, I think it's cute that grumpy sings along with universal idols.'

'It's 600 bucks regardless of how freaked out your kid gets.'

Doug Kershaw