Elderly Advisor Pillows

An old lady snapping at a man attempting to help her up.

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Why bother?"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

Mr. Evers specifically asked for a plain coffee, not an espresso.

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Remote Control Duck

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"Someone to see you!"

Medication for the elderly

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

Psychologist is SHOCKED by what his elderly patent is telling him.

Checking for signs of life.

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"We're trying to give geriatrics a sexier image..."

I'm Aging Gracefully...so SHUT UP!!!

Mismanagement Consultant.

'I need a vacation, Ms. Sims. I'm tired of the same old things day after day.'

'I pleaded with Old Mother Hubbard to make adequate provision for her retirement.'

"Get me my gun. I want to squeeze off a few last rounds."

Lost and forgotten department

'At least you're not going to have to worry about your denture adhesive anymore.'