Senior Living Advisor Pillows

"The only thing golden about these years is my incontinence."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

The Oaks: Breakfast And Back To Bed.

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

New Hampshire Minute

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

'It's a pretty lame disappearing act Darling: I think we'd better hire a real Magician for Timmy's birthday party...'

"Things moving too fast. We need to get back to our roots. And grubs."

Mismanagement Consultant.

Amongst the rush.

'Meet Charles, the office 'old-timer'. He's been hangin' around stock tickers, water coolers, copy machines, and now laser printers for 40 years!'

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses..."

"Apart from fifty foot away, where do you see yourself, say in the next three months?"

Organic farm

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

'I pleaded with Old Mother Hubbard to make adequate provision for her retirement.'

'So June, do you think we should get a stairlift or just move to a bungalow...because, let's face it, we're getting on and here will come a point...when you won't be able to carry me up the stairs anymore.'

'You're lucky, you're one of our few employees that will live long enought to earn a pension.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."