Egoist Extraordinaire Gifts

'Look out... here comes the Trumpet Voluntary.'

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

The Boss.

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

"You think I would have sunk forty thousand clams into this lemon if I had known they were coming out with a nine-dollar boner pill?"

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

"And, for God's sake, don't let anyone finish my novel!"

"Any Creationists here tonight?"

Poser

"He claims he does the work of two employees."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

The great and near-great

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

"In short, then, I'm looking for a job that matches my sense of entitlement!"

'I've always managed to retain my humility, I'm proud to say.'

"It's my most personal building yet."

"They're both type 'A' personalities, so they're deciding who is the 'A+'."

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

"It's confusing, son, but I'll try to explain: A nerd is a dork who's headed for college. A wonk is a nerd with one or more Ph.D.s. And then there' s the Uber-Wonk, like Daddy, who gets interviewed on TV all the time!"

"I hoped you'd like the size of it."

Boss has a frame hanging above his desk for his face.