Egoist Extraordinaire T-Shirts

'Look out... here comes the Trumpet Voluntary.'

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

The Boss.

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

"You think I would have sunk forty thousand clams into this lemon if I had known they were coming out with a nine-dollar boner pill?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, but your hair just doesn't say anything to me today."

"He claims he does the work of two employees."

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

"Hey, universe! I'm significant and I'm in charge!"

The great and near-great

Poser

"And, for God's sake, don't let anyone finish my novel!"

"Any Creationists here tonight?"

"In short, then, I'm looking for a job that matches my sense of entitlement!"

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

'I've always managed to retain my humility, I'm proud to say.'

"I think it really captures my humility and selflessness."

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

"They're both type 'A' personalities, so they're deciding who is the 'A+'."

"It's my most personal building yet."

'Seth, please bring me a copy of every search engine article that mentions my name in a favorable light. I need an ego boost.'

"It's confusing, son, but I'll try to explain: A nerd is a dork who's headed for college. A wonk is a nerd with one or more Ph.D.s. And then there' s the Uber-Wonk, like Daddy, who gets interviewed on TV all the time!"

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

"I just always show up to everything!"

Boss has a frame hanging above his desk for his face.