Oenophile Extraordinaire T-Shirts

'You paid three goats for this? Robertus Parkerus only rated it LXXIV.'

'Not much to show for 25 years of investing in wine--unless maybe you add back the 9,000 empties!'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"Look, a bug!"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Heading off with a packed bag

"I make it myself!"

Now Playing at the Europlex

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

The Airport.

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"Fred, just how remote is this remote fishing spot of yours?"

Easter Island Tours. Theories differ. Ernie believes they were used to display a selection of giant wigs.

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

Counsel for the prosecution makes its closing argument in mime court.

Bad news...we're running out of ice.

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

Confusing directions.

Tourist Directions

'You have an impressive cellar.'

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

"Something from our wine list?"

"It's confusing, son, but I'll try to explain: A nerd is a dork who's headed for college. A wonk is a nerd with one or more Ph.D.s. And then there' s the Uber-Wonk, like Daddy, who gets interviewed on TV all the time!"

'I'm afarid your son has all the classic elements of geekism,minus the technical expertise.'

'It says, the higher a man's I.Q., the longer he's a virgin... well, bud... here's your Nobel Prize nomination!'

"Breathe, darn it, breathe!"

Paradise: Collection of wine

"Enjoy it while you can, kid. It's a really short hop from 'Geek Genius' to 'Quasi-Creepy, Weird-Looking Old Rich Guy!'"

The Little Top.

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment.'

"Wow, your brought your own coffee in your own mug...very eco-friendly! That'll be 12.50 Euro."