Egg Salad Escapade Gifts

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

Build Your Own Portfolio

'Like death by salad.'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

Easter Egg Delivery

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"I'm not a total vegetarian, sometimes I like a bit of buffalo."

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"More croutons, sir?"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

Ranch Dressing

Free salad bar.

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

All you can eat salad bar has lifetime price.

Yes, the salad was vegan. In fact, we even offered it first to all the bunnies in the area, each of whom insisted that, no, he was quite full, and he'd like you to have it.

'The Chef's Salad isn't available today. She ate it herself.'

"I want a big-a*s salad."

"We could go out to eat every night and cut our grocery bill to nothing."

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

"Chef's special: tossed salad, no dressing. It's dress-down day."

"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"

'Go ask Caesar what he wants in his salad.'